- Easy to Find
- Relatively Inexpensive
- Sweet and Syrupy
- Generic Tasting
Like all great stories, this one begins in Amsterdam.
In 1864, at the ripe age of 22 Gerard Adriaan Heineken commandeered the Haystack Brewery of Amsterdam. He had nothing (not even brewing expertise) but spunk, moxy, and a mission to produce quality beer unmatched by other breweries.
Did he succeed? Well depending on your levels of beer snobbery, that ones up for debate.
Nonetheless, flash-forward to 2017 and the Heineken juggernaut has released a non-alcoholic lager, taking their iconic branding and tapping into a whole new market.
Heineken 0.0 is supposedly indistinguishable in taste, smell and form from the lager loved by many…
Today, we bust that myth.
Heineken 0.0 Review: Lager than life
Lagers are the ultimate entry beer for newbie boozers.
They’re simple, fresh, and downright dangerously easy to drink. They’re the Jonas Brothers of beer: a guilty pleasure.
For your inner beer nerd, lager means ‘storage’ in German. Alluding to the slower fermentation process, it gives us the crisp and refreshing profile enjoyed by pub-drinkers everywhere.
Your classic alcoholic lager will have a light, mellow and smooth taste with less bitterness than your average ale.
So… the sun’s shining, the Jonas Brothers are blaring, and you’re looking for that crispiness without the hangover. How does a non alcoholic Heineken stack up?
Pour
The foam dissipates stupidly quickly. You’re left with a beer that looks flatter than my energy after Euro 2020.
In classic Heineken fashion, it sits as an amber golden clear liquid with simmering bubbles. It’s appetising, albeit in a slightly chemical kind of way.
Aroma
Inoffensive, and nothing particularly prominent or head-turning.
I’m no sniffer dog, but you’ll detect banana upfront. Let it sit for a bit and the hay, corn, and even almond come to the fore.
Overall, it’s similar to regular Heineken, just without the same alcoholic punch that leaves it smelling a little flat.
Taste
To some extent, it tastes like a Pilsner should! It’s still brewed with the same premium malt and A-Yeast used by Heineken for their regular beer.
The first hallowed mouthful brings a (very) subtle soft malty sweetness, with just a hint of honey that comes through after multiple sips.
As with their alcoholic offering, it’s refreshingly dry and only mildly bitter on the aftertaste.
However, the final offering is flat. It’s simply ‘missing something’. It’s essentially a much watered-down Heineken, with the same overall profile without the punch.
For those of you looking for all the taste without the hangover, you’d be better served elsewhere.
Mouthfeel
It’s got an ultra-light body. It goes down like a pint of milk, and is as thin and weightless as my wallet after Black Friday.
The consequence is a ‘syrupy’ texture common to many alcohol-free lagers.
It’s lively and well-carbonated, producing a tingling (borderline stinging) sensation on the tongue before fading into its signature crisp, dry finish.
Where can I buy Heineken 0.0 beer?
The top retailers that you can buy it from are:
Heineken 0.0 Lager Ingredients, Nutritional Information and Calories
The ingredients list is as follows:
Water, Malted Barley, Hop Extract, Natural Flavourings
Please note, Heineken 0.0 contains barley, an allergy risk.
| Nutritional Information | Per 100mL |
|---|---|
| Energy (KJ / KCal) | 89 / 21 |
| Fat (g) | <0g |
| Of Which Saturates (g) | 0g |
| Carbohydrate (g) | 4.8g |
| Of Which Sugars (g) | 1.3g |
| Protein (g) | 0g |
| Salt (g) | <0.01g |
Overall Heineken 0.0% Verdict?
Overall Verdict – 5/10
The Heineken brand is epic.
The look, feel and design of their cans and bottles strike ‘chill’ into the hearts of drinkers everywhere.
They’re like the Fast and Furious of beers. Are they exceptional? God, no. But at the end of the day, will you still fork over your hard earned cash for the product? Sure, because everyone else does!
That’s the power of the brand.
But as a beer aficionado, when it comes to alcoholic-free beers, I’m looking for something that gets as close to the ‘real’ thing as possible.
Unfortunately, It’s a widely mediocre effort. At £4.50 for 6 cans (at Tesco) it’s good value for sure.
But for a taste that resembles a syrupy, flat Heineken, why not just have an orange squash?
